So bye, and thanks for the memories, especially to my IC enemies who were always a constant source of entertainment.
s with the admin on xhelp.
We spent a lot of time discussing these problems with the player and trying to come up with solutions as well as convince them that what was happening was IC. I also personally investigated a specific RP this player flagged to me during office hours, and addressed what I felt were poor choices made by a gm who is not Cerberus, helped that gm understand how they might have better handled the situation and told the player this, but it appears that wasn't enough to get them to trust we were not out to get them.
Thet were frustrated with the admin and with parts of the player base which was coming through on the BGBB as well in a not contstructive way.
I'm sad to see them go, but at this point I think then taking a break from the game is what is best for everyone.
These complaints are not new, nor are they unique to me. I advocated for Cerb to stay on when he attempted to resign and came to regret that decision afterwards. I don't think he fulfilled the promises he made about civility in his subsequent posts. I made complaints about his tone and behavior going back to April '17 and have never once received any kind of apology from him, even after he crossed some pretty serious lines.
Recently I misunderstood some instructions I'd received OOC and did something without xhelping first. Realizing the mistake I made an @note and offered to fix/undo it. Cue Cerberus all-caps yelling at me in xhelps and calling me a stupid narcissist.
So there's a little more context. It's his game, he can behave how he wants, but I was here to have fun and that killed it for me.
You had done the same thing I asked you not to do four times in a row. You consistently disregarded instructions that were clear on what behaviors require admin support being aware before you act and you consistently disregarded that.
I did not call you stupid. I said making the mistake so many times was "dense' and it was dense. You disregarded instructions, you flubbed, you made mistakes, you did not take to heart how serious I was, you did not absorb the importance of not making a 3rd or 4th mistake of the same nature, it was by it's very definition of the word, a dense course of action.
That is not calling you stupid. Of course, you're entitled to believe I think you're stupid, I don't, in fact I even told you in that same conversation that I believed you were a smart person, and that is right before I told you what you did was dense.
Calling you smart, yet dense != calling you stupid.
When you wouldn't let go of the fact that I had called you dense, as if I had trespassed on sacred ground with you, I asked you to keep the narcissism IC and keep it off of xhelp.
I am sorry if you do not like to be critically reviewed for the actions you take, it happens to me on a daily basis, people call me all sorts of bad stuff. People even accused me of being a pedophile because I played VRchat (????)
You did not need to take those comments to your very core, and you could have simply moved on, you weren't disrespected, you were critiqued and reviewed.
If I had no respect for you, you would've been suspended on the 3rd AND the 4th time you ignored my instructions, but I kept hoping you'd listen.
It's unfortunate that it's come to this, and I do hope you choose to stop blowing this out of proportion and stop making the prospect of you returning someday harder and harder to imagine.
I loved your character. You absorbed the setting and played the CP creed on par with the best. You're also hilarious! Sorry things are ending this way and also thanks for all the game-help/board posts/flavor writing you did, I feel like you contributed to the game super meaningfully as a whole and certainly to me personally.
Practically the whole game revolves around Cerberus' ego and I'm not really down for investing more time and energy into something subject to his mood swings. The way he ran shit really broke my faith in Sindome.
Everyone else was great, the PVP was great, but this game just kept becoming more and more of a bummer OOC to play. This seems like a good time to hang it up for awhile.
I took a break from the game after similar issues, though never really said goodbye. Just left quietly and let people have their way. Not even sure why I check the forums on occasion. I guess I miss parts of the community and the good times.
I miss my old RP friends/enemies - and some of the staff did amazing RP and plots. I'm not gonna go into the reasons I left - it doesn't really matter to anyone anymore - but I believe the dialogue between staff and players seems to be a recurring issue. Hope you all manage to resolve it somehow.
Anyway, only reason I'm posting now is to express thanks to Vera - RP with you was always incredible and I loved it all. Hope you find something more rewarding where ever you go.
Same pretty much to everyone else that I RP'd with. You're cool people. Good luck.
And you too, waddlerafter, you're one of the players that helped me establish myself in the game when I returned from a long hiatus and actually got me interested in developing my character's story.
Wish you two the best.
I was discouraged by some (From my perspective) shitty, unhelpful attitudes from other players OOCly.
And you were one of the posters on the Boards who made me realize, most of the people here are pretty cool.
Thank you for that.
Take care, and I truly hope I see you around again, some time.
I also will say as someone who volunteers time for an organization, a lot of abuse is placed on people who do things freely. No comment on your situation, just that everyone should realize that people who dedicate time and energy to something for free are people too. They have good and bad days and usually they are not playing favorites or trying to make people upset.
As far as the rest...it's such delicate and treacherous ground. I'll say +1 to Eph's post. I'll say people have strength's and weaknesses (all people), and owe it to themselves and those around them to embrace what they're strong in with their work and keep their weaknesses in mind as often as possible.
I'm torn sometimes because I do think Cerb has a knack for being ready to call we players out for some of the random silly shit we do (throwing and catching wallscreens off of skywalks, anyone?) and that's something staff should do.
Tone is possibly, apparently, sometimes, still an issue. I'll also say it used to be a lot worse and I'll be the first to give kudos for self-reflection and improvement. It doesn't mean there isn't a common denominator in players leaving, over a period of years.
Most importantly, I want to acknowledge that staff are volunteers and absolutely deserve admiration and respect for their time, whether they're coding or GM'ing or reading histories or puppeting or fixing typos -- BUT, at least in my opinion, every staff member when interacting with a player, whether that player is a 15+ year veteran (hi) or a day-one player, is first and foremost an Ambassador for the Game. Yeah, that's right -- you're volunteering to be a customer service rep too. It does NOT mean the player is always right or any of that garbage. But it should mean, IMO, that no player should ever feel -nervous- to type xhelp, or feel a ping of fear to see a staff member page them, particularly a certain staff member, purely because if anxiety around staff interaction. That seems to be the feeling of a lot of players, past and present, for quite a long time, setting aside the Reddit trolls even. That is NOT a wholesale condemnation of Cerb or the staff as a whole, it's an aggregate observation and a concern.
The other side is also true -- if staff feel anxiety to see a certain player's name pinging them, there's also something probably askew. I don't know the details of this situation or the ongoing issues so I can't comment.
Second - the other issues of 'interactions' with Staff. I like to think maybe I have a different perspective to bring to this discussion. In RL, I work in an enforcement job. And, much of my daily routine is having to tell (mostly) good, honest people that I catch in a rare, bad or dishonest situation that they have negative consequences to those actions. And, very rarely is it met initially with 'Gee, thanks, you're right'. Emotions are charged and there is a heightened state already in play just because they have to talk to me. Every person I interact with has a reason, justification or excuse for that action and some of them are sincerely truthful that they just didn't think about it fully, didn't know they were doing something wrong or that they thought it wouldn't be 'that big a deal'. Even if they should have.
That said, it doesn't change the fact that I have to enforce a rule, a law or a penalty for that decision. It also doesn't mean I horde over them their mistakes and judge them as bad people. When I have to repeat myself multiple times for the same action to the same person, my human impatience can flare up. And, I may find myself not as likely to be sympathetic to their plight given the repetitive nature of the issue. And, especially if it is someone that I've taken time from my other duties to instruct and guide in the right way. To put it bluntly, it leaves me feeling unappreciated, ignored and like I just wasted twenty minutes, thirty minutes, hours of my time that could have been better spent helping another citizen that -did- truly need my help. Also, if a person is the third (or twentieth) person of the day that I've had to repeat the same thing to, even if they are separate from the others, my human impatience can still flare and I may likely react impatiently.
Now, applying that perspective to the game. Yes, I know that Staff are not just about enforcement. And, I've had quite a few interactions with Staff over the years of my playing to see all sides of it. From their help with GMing, Puppeting NPCs, answering my questions on RP and the occasional talking to for straying from the rules or guidelines of 'good' and 'acceptable' RP. Some have been very gentle about it and others have been as blunt as a hammer. But, it was always a positive interaction. Even when being told I was playing poorly. Because, in the end, I realized that it wasn't meant to be derisive, it was meant to improve my gameplay and allow me to fully immerse in Sindome and get the most out of it.
I know every player here is an adult. We come from varying backgrounds and life experiences. And, yes, we are all here to 'have fun'. But, we all know that Sindome is a deep-rooted experience that we all become emotionally invested in. That goes the same for Staff. And, they are human and are going to have the same frustrations we have, but from the other perspective. We as players get frustrated we don't get what we want - they as Staff are frustrated we aren't getting what we want and that generally, it's because we aren't playing the game right. I don't think there is a single Staff Member out there that doesn't want players to succeed (even if it's by a phenomenally explosive failure) in getting the best out of Sindome.
I guess, what I'm saying is it's easy as Players to say 'ha, that Staff is a dick' because you've had to have a less-than-desirable interaction with them. But, maybe give them a bit of leeway and step back and see what the intent was instead of focusing on the delivery? It doesn't mean that the delivery can't be worked on, but it also doesn't mean that we should ignore the message just because it wasn't said in a fluffy, gentle way.
But after a stern talking-to by FengShui/Slither to myself, even though I was pretty aggitated by it at the time, I haven't had any major issues ever since. And even if he was stern about it, he was fair and honest. He didn't undermine me, but did however make me realize staff spends a load of time doing the things they do. Not just the OOC things, but the IC things too. I only had a minor issue where I got a bit annoyed when one of my earlier characters had to change their backstory because there were things they noticed way after the @history had been approved, that they didn't want to allow. This bugged me a lot and made it difficult for me to play my character, and I asked questions back about this and was met with accusations of me arguing. Whilst, I wasn't actually trying to argue, though that may not have come across properly to said staff. I don't remember exactly who it was, but whomever it was, could've had a stressful day, even if it aggrivated me some at the time. It was a misunderstanding either way.
Honestly, I feel like since we're bringing up this topic on behaviors of players and staff, I want to say this not only to the rest but to Slither/FengShui himself; I really appreciate you as staff. You're the most respectful and constructive staff member I have had experience with and even though I am sure you have to deal with a lot of frustrating matters daily, you are the best at handling it and controlling your own emotions, not letting them get involved. I really appreciate all the work you do, especially when you do it directly, because you're very good at coming across both fair and polite.
Sorry about this whole wall of text but I really felt like giving my input on interactions with staff.
Vera and Waddler, I'm going to miss you two so much. I'm sad you're going. I hope one day you can come back. You guys were my meme buddies. Now I just have Ranger left.
All roads in life eventually lead to parting ways with one another. I think about this a lot as I get older. You lose people and lose people and lose people as time goes on. I'm almost halfway through my life now I think? I'm close! I try to laugh every day and get up to mischief because it's the only way I know how to stay young in my heart.
The things I say today might be the things I regret tomorrow, but the people I say them to might not be there for me to say I'm sorry. They might be gone by then and I can't find them to get them back. It's this way with all things, even here. We're a small group of people holding on to each other against time.
Except IRL, it isn't the UN or raiders or whatever else that threatens our world, it's our arguments and misunderstandings. I don't say this to say "we should preserve SD for the make-believe fun it provides", but because I read this thread and got sad period over what's happened.
So I hope one day you come back and things can get fixed because I will sorely miss you in the meantime.
I've grown in my RP and character in relation to yours, and I'm thankful for it. You and waddle. You tough motherfuckers turned into formidable allies and enemies.
I hope you return. I'll understand if you don't. I'll with hold comment on staff. Save to say that I've seen Cerb's evolution steadily over the years, and the improvement has been impressive.
Take care, I already miss you two.
