I know that I try hard to balance the times I 'win' with occasional carnage with more frequent 'limited victories'.
By limited victories I mean trying to frame the victory so I clearly win but the other side can tolerate. It's not easy given how we all get so deeply invested in things but I've enjoyed some great RP by tempering my 'wins' and when others have done the same for me.
It's hard for me to describe how to do this well as I am always developing myself here as well. I guess that the best way to phrase this is by being flexible and watching your words. In fact, it's similar advice parents often receive.
Often, once someone SAYS something, they feel they have to back it up 100% or look bad when they fail to do so. And there's some truth to that. It's often considered good parenting to pick your fights and to try to always follow through. The same applies to life and the game.
So... Say I'm a mugger, gang related or otherwise.
If I demand 1k and the other person can't deliver it, now what? You made the demand so now you need to follow through. If they don't have a kay on them then you end up in a mess. Do you take goods instead? Do you drop them off the roof as a lesson? To you try to get them to take you tot heir home and make them open the door and kill them when they refuse because that's not a losing condition they can accept?
Or, maybe I just demand you give me some valuables. I don't specify what. Then, as long as it's not insulting (and I'd be forgiving here), I take it and move on. Only 200 chyen? That's a free meal and booze. Maybe I save it and get some lana and enjoy my high. It pushed theme, I established my dominance and it wasn't too hard for the other character to stomach. And there's room for escalation over time if my PC feels it's needed. Hell. I can do that to the same PC several times a week and it's still tolerable.
I think that by not making specific claims or demands up front I can then be flexible with the outcome. It's also interesting as you can frame it in a way that lets the player of the other character frame their loss in a way that will be more interesting to them.
It has to be a loss, you have the upper hand, but maybe they are the type who would rather lose by falling under your character's power. They gotta work for you maybe. Or maybe they want to feel broke and poor so choose to give you every chyen and valuable. Or they expose a part of their character by losing a photo that holds great sentimental value.
Or, I can make very reasonable and fairly easy to meet demands if I want to ramp it up. One I used before was, "If you see me, you leave without delay. You don't get to be in my presence. You are too scummy for my nasty personage. You ever do anything but leave, I will wage war on you until you learn to leave." This worked for the other PC. They liked the power play. It was interesting RP for them and it was a clear win for my PC with options for more conflict from there.
So I guess that's my first suggestion. Don't talk yourself into having to follow through with some scorched earth level business.Leave room to be flexible. Take the small wins as it's the win that matters more than anything. Try and find ways to let the loser help frame their loss.
I get that it's not always possible. Not all players/characters will play along nicely. Especially if they are used to fight/flight or they die or lose heavily. Where even trying to engage in this RP is too risky to try. But if your character develops a reputation for this kind of play, I think more PCs will dive into the losing RP with you.