Caught this one: “I got downed by an ogre and another player claimed to be doing CPR but was actually just stabbing me while saying ‘I guess he didn’t make it.’”
Sounds like a good medic scam.
When you work at Fuller Med, but moonlight as a Ferryman.
They go through hell getting into the lair, killing a tyrannosaurus and over 300 kobolds. It takes two nights. Finally they burst into the lair and the paladin wins initiative. Laughing, he plinks the arrow at the dragon as the guys get ready for the fight of their lives.
Nat 20
Rolls to confirm, nat 20
The dragon takes like 3 damage and rolls her massive fortitude save, and gets a 1, the only roll that could have failed. She drops dead instantly.
The players had been looking forward to a big dramatic battle to wrap things up, but we all agreed it was funnier to just bomb in and one shot the bad guy effortlessly.
My first ever campaign, so I went with something I knew would work. Elf ranger. But, I tanked the hell out of his dex and basically made him a freaking ninja. He'd never use the streets, never walk like a normal person. Every chance he got he was on a rooftop.
So, we're a bit into the campaign. Not far for significance, but far enough that enemies were appearing. There was a bunch of Goblins skulking around in a city, attacking people in a big pack (horde?)
Anyway my ranger is up on a roof, and there's a Goblin ahead.
"Can I roll to tackle the Goblin?"
"Sure..."
Nat 20.
"You tackle the goblin so hard that you both go tumbling off the roof, roll to nail the landing."
Nat 20.
"By the grace of either god, fate, or your badass parkour skills. You manage to mid-air stand and surf the Goblin to the ground... Who then lands on top of another Goblin..."
DM rolls.
Both Goblins are dead, and the other 4 in the group are far too startled to do anything other than run like hell from the knife-eared bird of surfing justice.
