Have you ever been scared enough to wet your pants?
No, but I'd like to.
Which would be harder for you to give up: coffee or alcohol?
About the same, honestly. I drink both off and on with sometimes huge gaps between "on" periods
If you could get away with a crime, would you? If yes, what would it be?
Yes, stealing hearts.
What do you think phones will be like in 10 years?
The devices we call "phones" are just computers now so... Who knows, because the word "phone" already makes no sense. Hopefully there's a "pleasure mode" though...
Would you dress in drag for $25?
In private, sure. In public nonononononononono
Would you become a professional bank robber if you knew you would never get caught?
Yes and I'd give a dollar or two to charity to justify it, because I'm classy like that.
What skills do you posses that could help you survive the zombie apocalypse?
Construction skillz, I can kick impressively high, I can fix stuff real goodlike, backcountry outdoors skillz, shootin skillz, and I always reciprocate
What are two things you would do if you woke up to find yourself completely invisible?
Perv on everything, then quickly die of dehydration probably
If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be?
Funshine Bear (the yellow Care Bear)
Describe your perfect sandwich.
Any sandwich that's in my hand is the perfect sandwich, but no dog meat please. I'm not gonna fall for that one again.
On a scale from 1-10 whats the highest level of pain youve ever been in?
I broke a bone and didn't see the doc for a few days so it was all swollen and stiff and he had to yank on it a bunch to position it better, and that was like a 9 probably.
What phobias have you overcome in your lifetime?
I ain't never scared... except of success.
Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? Why?
George Carlin. Because he was funny.
Have you ever saved someones life?
Yeah but I endangered it, so I don't think it counts?
If you inherited or won a million dollars, whats the very first thing you would do with the money?
Give way too much of it to the government in taxes, then drink some milk because I could afford it.
If you were about to be executed what five foods would have as your last meal?
I'd go with the 5 most expensive and difficult options, because F you for executing me
Describe your own personal heaven.
I got put on a list the last time I told the truth about that
What song would you sing for your American Idol audition?
The Duck Tales theme song.
- Duck Tales! whooh ooh
- Every day they're out there making
- Duck Tales! whooh ooh
- Tales of daring do bad and good luck tales! whooh ooh
Whats your least favorite fast food restaurant?
They're all good though? I rarely eat fast food, so it's always a treat to have my taste buds blasted with whatever fun new chemicals they've come up with (not sarcasm. It's always delicious... too delicious)
If you could go back in time and change history, what would you change?
Something tiny and unnoticeable just to know I did it, because if I change too much I might not be born.
Something like... visiting Hitler as a newborn and turning his crib 180 degrees and then leaving