Have you ever saved someones life?
Given your existence is a subroutine of The Matrix intended to make my experience more immersive, arguably I save your life every day by virtue of my very existence.
Who would you hate to see naked?
If you could bring one fictional character to life, who would it be?
Boyle of Brooklyn 99. Everyone needs a friend like Boyle. NINE-NINE!!!
Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? Why?
Russel Howard. Every time that guy appears on my screen it brightens my day.
Would you go streaking across a football field during a game for a million dollars knowing theres a 50/50 chance youll get arrested for indecent exposure?
Do I get my million dollars regardless? If so, yes. I can afford the fine.
If you could choose your age forever, what age would you choose and why?
I'd want my physique from when I was 19 but my mental age from now.
If you could got back in time 1,000 years, what year would you visit?
Whats something you always wanted to do as a child but never got to do it?
Drive a mecha.
If you could rid the world of one disease what would it be?
Toxic masculinity? Lol I don't know. I'd need to consult a medical professional.
Whats the wildest thing youve ever done in a hotel room?
You don't wanna know.
If you were in a witness protection program, what would be your new name and where would you go?
That would be a secret.
What kind of phone was your first cell phone?
An indestructible Nokia with an LCD display. It didn't even have snake on it. I hated the damn thing and actively tried to destroy it like the ungrateful child I was. It survived: being sat on, being thrown great distances and dropped from great heights, going down the toilet (before and after using the toilet. Ew!), being kicked into curbs across concrete and being driven over by a car.
If a theme song played every time you entered a room, what would it be?
A Man for All Seasons - Robbie Williams
What skills do you posses that could help you survive the zombie apocalypse?
Basic marksmanship, first aid, combat engineering.
Whats the worst job you've ever had?
Telemarketing was soul destroying. At its worst I was tasked with calling caravan parks in relation to an insurance policy we were offering. These people would start swearing the moment they picked the phone up let alone once it became clear you were trying to sell them something.
Which Disney princess do you find to be the most attractive?
The Disney princesses are strong, independent women who don't need no man to find them attractive to find value in themselves. As such I refuse to objectify them.
Also they're fictional which makes it kind of weird for me to try and place them on the hot/not scale.
Would you let me slap you for a hundred dollars?
I've entered cage fights to raise money for a cause so yeah? I guess so.
If you could deliver a speech to the entire world, what would you say?
Be weird. Normal is synonymous with boring, mundane and average. You won't be remembered for being normal. Life is too short to be normal. Be weird. Weird is synonymous with extraordinary, unique, outstanding so be weird. Sure people will judge you for it, but we call those people assholes and we there is only room for one asshole in your life, yours. Do what makes you happy, and if people call you weird for it, great, you're on your way to being someone special.
Would you dress in drag for $25?
This is the second time you've asked me to do something I already do/have done and offered me money to do it. Absolutely I would.