Twenty Answers
What was your favorite color or Crayola crayon growing up?
Yellow
Have you thrown up in a car?
Yeah
If you inherited a single room off-the-grid cabin in the woods, would you be excited or disappointed?
Excited
Whats your favorite viral YouTube video?
Does "This is America" by Childish Gambino count?
What famous historical figure would like to fight?
Jesus
Have you ever saved someones life?
I like to think I've had a role in it, at least.
Would you become a professional bank robber if you knew you would never get caught?
Sounds fun
If someone wrote a biography about you, what do you think the title should be?
How not to fuck up everything in your life - the story of someone who didn't know that method.
Which Disney princess do you find to be the most attractive?
I don't know. Who's the girl from Princess and the Frog? Maybe her.
Would you dress in drag for $25?
I've done it for less.
What is the funniest movie you have ever seen?
This is an unanswerable question. So many movies are the funniest.
Who is your favorite stand-up comedian? Why?
Tie between Daniel Tosh and Bo Burnham, and maybe Lewis Black. Tosh is crass, vulgar and honest. His delivery matches the truths he addresses in his comedy. Disgusting. Bo burnham is clever, smart, and somehow manages to make everything come off high brow, even when he's being low brow. I like Lewis Black's social and political commentary, and his rage (he's famously nicknamed, "the raving Jew") is a big part of the sell. It's over the top and perfectly pointed.
Who would you hate to see naked?
You. All of you bakas.
What would you do if you were the lone survivor of a plane crash?
Sustain myself with thoughts and prayers.
If you could got back in time 1,000 years, what year would you visit?
1023
Who is your favorite cartoon character? Why?
Felix the Cat? Four years later, I still haven't had second thoughts about this answer. I don't really know why. I haven't seen the show since childhood, but I think he could pull anything out of his bag.
Would you go streaking across a football field during a game for a million dollars knowing theres a 50/50 chance youll get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it tax exempt?
Which would be harder for you to give up: coffee or alcohol?
I already gave up alcohol. Coffee is stuck with me.
What is your guilty pleasure?
Madonna. Shhhh.
What was your first CD and when did you get it?
Make Yourself by Incubus. It was 2001 and I lived in Anchorage AK. Heard it on the radio when it came out and convinced the parents to get it for me. Seen them in concert three times since. I had a big falling out with their music after Light Grenades, though. I hardly listen to them anymore.
