If you had to read an entire encyclopedia, which letter would you choose?
How many slices of pizza are you capable of eating in one sitting?
All of them.
What skills do you posses that could help you survive the zombie apocalypse?
My trade never dies.
Describe your perfect sandwich.
Whole wheat, peanut butter, banana pieces, and nutella.
Have you ever been scared enough to wet your pants?
No, but I have shit myself from being scared.
... It doesn't count, being a dry passage.
Describe your own personal hell.
A Chuk-E-Cheese ball pit.
If you had to choose to live without one of your five senses, which one would you give up?
Hearing. While not hard of hearing myself, sign language has always been important to me. It's not that I would survive without the sense of hearing, as I wouldn't like to think that negatively over it's absence. I just know that I am already in a community that would not treat me differently if I suddenly were completely without hearing.
Would you dress in drag for $25?
I would have a fisticuffs duel with the creator of this question for free.
Have you ever been drunk in public?
Too many times to count.
What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?
The only scar that has not properly healed on me so far is a pale mark on my arm from a car's cigarette lighter.
How would you describe yourself in three words?
Prideful sloth demon.
Which would be harder for you to give up: coffee or alcohol?
Coffee. I've been sober for a few years and counting.
If you were offered the position of mayor of your city, would you take it?
Yes. I would collect as many top secret documents as I could, shred and flush the rest, then attempt to sell my city's precious G-Fuel secrets.
Do you believe in Bigfoot?
No. Even if I did, I would think something unspotted on a landmass with so much documentation by so many parties would have to be very few in numbers, and lend towards total extinction before their presence became truly relevant culturally.
If you were in the circus what kind of performer would you be? (Clown, tight-rope walker, etc)
I have been a clown in a circus. I loved it.
What is your favorite sport in the Winter Olympics?
I do not like Bread and Games.
If you could master one musical instrument, what would it be?
Who would you hate to see naked?
A body is a body. No one.
Whats the dumbest thing youve ever cried about?
I cry about everything.
If you had to eat one thing from McDonalds, every meal for a week straight, what would you chose?
Chicken burger, mmmm.